So another year and another Valentine’s day is imminently approaching. If like me your enthusiasm for what has now become more of a commercial holiday is well … LOST, then fear not! You can let Cupid run amok and still pay the mortgage. Here’s 5 gifts for your beloved this V-day.
1. Cookie Loves Milk Tee via Threadless.com $7.95 – $25
Do you go together like birds of a feather?
If you answered yes then it’s likely she’s the cookie to your milk or you’re the milk to his cookie. Either way that’s sweet (and sickening) so declare your love on a t-shirt you sickeningly sweet love birds you.
2. Poo-Pourri via YellowOctopus.com.au $14.99
Wanting to take your relationship to the next level but are absolutely terrified your significant other will freak out once they realise that yes, you do get calls of nature that need to be answered. Well until the need to go number two has been removed by scientists in a Swiss lab in Bern we say cover your tracks with the refreshing scents of citrus or royal flush. Nothing says I love you more than keeping the bathroom a stink free zone for your special someone.
3. Star Wars Han & Leia Hand Towels ThinkGeek.com $19.99
In a galaxy far far away there was a romance so strong and so true it brought down an empire. A little closer to home you can channel this love using the power of the force … of your wallet that is. Whether or not you believe in the way of the Jedi we say stay away from the dark side with these crisp white hand towels. These are both geek and chic … may the force be with you and your bathroom sink.
4. The Oatmeal Greeting Cards TheOatmeal.com starting at $5
Is your love the kind of quirky relationship where you have weird and awkward pet names and are completely and utterly ok with all your bodily functions and noises around each other?
If you nodded proudly then humour is probably rock solid in your relationship. Sometimes all you need to give is a reason to chuckle or smile. This is where horrible greeting cards come in. Because sometimes love is unconventional. Sometimes love is letting one rip under the blankets to keep your partner warm on those chilly winter nights.
5. Ship Your Enemies Glitter ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com starting at $10
Now for the rest of you who (like yours truly) can’t stand Valentine’s day and frankly simply cannot wait for the 15th to come along – well there’s salvation and it comes in the mail.
Ahh Glitter… equal bringer of joy AND despair. It’s time to harness the power of the anonymous delivery by shipping glitter to your enemies *cue evil laugh*. May you bask in the schadenfreude of those who get on your nerves (especially that smug woman in the office who receives flowers all the time) and stifle a chuckle when you see them struggle in vain to de-glitter themselves, their belongings and their desk MWAHAHA!
Valentine’s is about spreading the joy (and despair) … Valentine’s is a great time to ship your enemies glitter.
Are you loved up or fed up when it comes to Valentine’s? Share how you mark the occasion by posting a comment.
This article was meant partly in jest as a bit of tongue in cheek fun, if it amused you or if you think any of the suggested gifts are worth mentioning to your mates be sure to share using the buttons below.